From darkness to light

I try to be honest about the challenges I face, because I am not alone in being a weary traveller of this life. And I believe we tend to think everyone else is perfect or doing just fine when the truth is we all have struggles, small or large. They are just not visible for all of us to see. 
When others share their struggles with me, it helps me see that I am no alone and that challenges is just something we have to deal with in our lives. And by sharing mine I hope that others out there can feel that they too are not alone. 

I had the blessing recently, to go the U.S. for the very first time in my life. Needless to say, an awesome experience, but I will not go into detail of that now. Before we left, I was really exited about it all, but I was also worried. I have been struggling with exhaustion for the last 6 years, but I have been stubborn through streaks of illness, hoping that I would overcome it eventually. This summer however, it overcame me instead.  I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in addition to struggling with anxiety and depression. Fibromyalgia basically covers a ton of symptoms, but the one that bugs me the most, apart from eye migraines, is being totally and utterly exhausted. So how was I to enjoy this holiday if I was not going to want to do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone?

Luckily, going away, was indeed very positive. We also had very few appointments set up beforehand, incase I wouldn't be able to do much. I am happy to say it went fairly well, alot better than I had feared beforehand. But still, about the middle of the stay, I had an especially  tough day. I was physically unwell, and feeling pretty down. The feeling inside me just got darker and darker and I felt the heavy load of not being good enough. Having the challenges I have, makes it difficult for me to do all that I want to do, all I need to do, all I wish I could do...I kinda fall short constantly, and that weighs heavily on me. I manage to shake it off most of the time, but it catches up with me time and time again. And this day was really bad. We wanted to go in the Salt Lake Temple this day, an experience I had been really looking forward to, but now I did not feel like it anymore. My feelings were so, so dark. I was dragging my feet after me, but we reached the entrance. As we came in to the foajeer, a small, simple sheet of darkness within me, lifted. As we went down the stairs and then furtner in, even more sheets of darkness lifted. And pretty soon as we walked through the temple, all my darkness, even the heaviest, blackest parts, were gone.
I could feel light. I felt peace. And I felt Gods love. It was as if my whole body and soul was breathing again after being without air.  

i am just so greatful for the peace I can find in the temple. And I am so greatful for the love I can feel there. Both Gods love for me, and also his love for everyone else. I am always just filled with love when I am there. So today I guess I just want to say how grateful I am for temples and how they can strengthen us.  How lucky we are to have them scattered through the earth! 

Wish you a great Sunday!