Finding that golden balance

I feel a need to explain some of the things I mentioned earlier about trying to become more selfish. It was a play of words, and I have no intent of becoming more selfish. The problem is, many women, like me, see taking care of oneself as a selfish thing. But it is indeed not.
I am not talking about packing the day for yourself only, going for an hour jog, an hour at the cafe, an hour of spa, or reading a book and then having virtually no time for family because all time is used on oneself. I am talking about the fact that many tend to care for their families and others with no or little time to fill oneself with positive and up-building things. There needs to be a balance in all things. Kind of the same way that life is, and should be, a mixture of opposing adventure. But that goes for another blog topic.

Of course, taking care of family, is indeed uplifting although maybe challenging, sometimes. But we tend to forget that we as mums, also consist of our self, there is somebody inside of us that too needs to be uplifted. Someone recently said that "a family is nothing but an under manned transport business".
To be honest, being parents often feels like an under manned business, that's for sure. Because there is just so much to do! The demands in our lives are many. It is no wonder that topics of general conference often speak of "Good, better, best" and choosing the best of the best. We only have 24 hours a day, no matter what we do, that is our max limit. So come on, folks, think about it, what is the most important for you to do? Maybe you can't do all that you want everyday? I am now talking about all the things you do for others.

I just realized that I do not have time for what matters most, because I use time on a lot of things that are expected, things I feel I have to do. But do I really? Does the house really need to look like it just got a real clean? We are actually allowed to live there, and living does make marks on our surroundings. Do we have to bake an amazing cake to bring to whatever thing that's going on? What about actually buying something today, to enable you to use the baking time for something more important. And we do not have to participate in all that is going on with the result that we participate less in our own families. We need balance in all things. And I don't think we will get that if we do not sit down and look at our lives and what we use our time on. What gives us energy and what drains us? What can we do without?

I love this saying because I think we all fall in the trap at times:

"Don't be so busy serving the Lord
 that you forget to serve the Lord"

For me that means being more aware of what you prioritize. There are many good things to do, but what are the most important? It also reminds me to not only look at the letter of the law, but to the meaning behind it, the love behind it. What is the most important? 

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a ranking of priorities we should seek to establish in our lives: And the surprising number one was: our physical and spiritual selves, You have probably heard the example before, but when on an airplane, what does the cabin crew tell you when there is an oxygen shortage? Yes, to put on the oxygen mask first on yourself, then you help the children on with theirs. I believe this is the same principle. If you are taking care of your physical and spiritual (and mental goes with the both) health, you are better equipped to take care of others. 

"You cannot lift another soul 

until you are standing on higher ground than he is." 

If there was a flood, you would not save anyone if you yourself stood below the water. What I want to say is, that it is important to be aware of how we are doing and not just go along until everything comes to an abrupt halt because you have been driving yourself too hard for too long. Find out what your demands are, and what your capacity is. And then find the balance. Maybe do less for a period and perhaps your capacity will grow. Then you can do more. But first, find out where you stand and what you need to do to find a balance between giving and receiving. 

I love doing something physical, it helps me feel revived afterwards. But if i do too much, I get sick the day after. Finding a balance between getting some exercise without having to pay for it the day after, is hard, but necessary. I was quite proud of myself yesterday as we went skiing. Some wanted to go a little further before settling down and taking a brake. I wanted to too, but I did not go, knowing it might knock me off the day after. It was a bit sad seeing them spin off further into the mountains, but I shook it off, and enjoyed the smaller ski trip that I had done and the lengthy break we took, resting on the snow in the beautiful sun. There is joy in finding ones limits and that in time will help you reach further. Patience is a tool, not easily used, but very effective. 

You cannot do it all, but do what matters most, 

and in time you might be able to do more. Be patient with yourself. 

Skiing in the Norwegian mountains yesterday.